[b]Prologue[/b]

There are times when I remember where I am, what I am. Floating in a black sea of self-inflicted discontent, rage and regret. Discontent and regret that strangle me like orchid-colored eyes. Eyes that looked on me in love and trust; things that were given so easily, taken for granted by most, yet I heedlessly butchered them. Not only those qualities did I slaughter, but a radiant soul shattered and a nescient mind left behind.

There are fleeting moments of aurulent warmth that envelope me. There is no actual light or color, but if there were, that is how I would behold it. An opulence that heightens the regret. It makes me loath my hideous existence even more and yet I know that is not its intent. In this hellish aeon it is both a comfort and curse. I anticipate and dread it.

My delicate lover, penance is this dark eternity. How I yearn that it were enough to atone my sins…



[b]Chapter 1[/b]

“Auntie Juju must I go?”  Asked the frowning young boy with uniquely natural dark blue hair sprouting from his untamed cowlick while the rest remained black.

“Yes you must, Yasuo. You want your mama and papa to be proud do you not?” The elder woman smiled sweetly as she bent over and gently pinched his cheek playfully…

And that is how it had played out between us… I gave my Aunt Juu, or as I referred to her in my youth, Auntie Juju, a hard time with almost everything I did.  Looking back she was one of the most patient and compassionate people I had ever known.  She had to be, to take in an orphan, or rather an orphan such as myself. I imagine it had to be a full time task for her.  Just how do you raise a God? What a dour thought! What a jest! Perhaps ‘God’ is too powerful a word the more I ponder it.

I have digressed; Aunt Juju deserves her part in this story. She is an extraordinary soul, knowing yet not knowing the burden, for that is surely how I see myself, she was taking upon her shoulders when a certain legendary hero came calling… but, that is another part of the tale I shall reveal in time.

And so, Yasuo sighed. “Are you sure mama knows?”

A mere second of sadness and pity appeared in her eyes, yet it was enough for the young Yasuo to notice. “I am sure. Now,” Aunt Juu began as she slowly straightened her posture. “Over to the Magic Guild with you! Do you want to be late your first day back? I am sure Master Ghaleon would not approve of such behavior.”  The cunning woman added as she pushed the front door open.

It was true; Auntie Juju knew just what to say in order for the youth to be out the door like a comet. Master Ghaleon. How ironic. Almost unimaginable how a simple childhood hero-worship could lead to such misery. But that is the end and this is the beginning.

Auntie Juju lovingly waved after the giddy Yasuo.  How wonderful that the joy of adolescent excitement can make one forget so easily the pains that lay just beneath the surface.  It would not keep the demons away for long. A harsh lesson for one not long in the world to have to learn.

“Hey you blue haired freak! What are you so happy about? Yer never gonna to be in Ghaleon’s class!”

“Yeah, much less his apprentice!”

Words, just words! Repeated in Yasuo’s mind as he ran past his cruel classmates.  They were all the same, every year. The only thing that changed was the intensity of their verbal blows.  Yasuo could remember a time not too long ago that he had laughed with them not knowing that while he thought it friendly banter, that they were indeed serious. Now, he ran from them and their words. He felt that he was always running from something, and so the irony thickens.

Yasuo stopped inside the grand entrance hall to catch his breath before facing the real gauntlet that laid ahead… the classroom.  Even though he was close to being late he still took a moment to gaze in wonder at the splendor around him.  The Magic Guild was like another world on the inside. The exterior looked much like any of the other buildings in the floating city, but the woodwork on the walls, the incantations and legends carved into the marble floors… it was breathtaking.  Yasuo felt its power move him each time he entered, not even the foul mouths of his antagonists could take that away from him!

“Do your eyes always glaze over like that?”

Yasuo jumped backward nearly knocking over the suit of armor behind him. Fortunately the noise of righting it was minimal.  He looked across the entryway at the giggling beast girl and caught his breath.

“Beduh…”

“What?” The beast girl laughed out loud this time. “I am quite sure the nurse will have to be called if you continue to carry on like that.”

Yasuo stared for a moment longer before finally composing himself.  She sure was pretty with her thick golden hair pulled into pigtails just behind her somewhat pointy, but cute, ears.  Yasuo had never cared much for beast man features, especially their noses, but hers…it seemed that she was…

“Perfect...” Yasuo whispered. He thought he had composed himself but then he was taken prisoner as he met her intense lavender gaze. He found it hard to swallow and suddenly felt awkward and embarrassed by his reaction. “Who are you standing in the doorway laughing at complete strangers?” He snapped.

Her cute ears twitched with annoyance and her pretty face scrunched in anger… oh boy was she pretty!

“My name is Portia. And who are you standing in the doorway making a fool of yourself for complete strangers to laugh at?” She folder her arms, her hip to the side and raising a brow.

“Fool? Just because I think this place is amazing does not make me a fool!” Yasuo retorted. He was unsure why he was getting so worked up.

To his surprise Portia giggled.  “You are okay.  I think I want to be friends. I shall have to decide while I am in class – oh no! I must hurry! See you later on”

Portia was nearly out of sight before I mustered coherent thoughts about even hurrying after her.  That was how it was and always would be; pursuing my unattainable dreams, a semblance of a normal life and a love for her that kept my heart beating and strengthened the shackles around it hiding the dark oblivion within.